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07 September 2009 @ 10:27 am
Oneshot: Friday the 13th  
Title: Friday the 13th
Pairings/Characters: Yesung/Ryeowook(main), Kibum/Donghae, slight mention of Eunhyuk/Kyuhyun, Hankyung/Heechul, and Kangin/Eeteuk, Ttangkkoma, Jason
Genre: Horror/Romance/Humor
Summary: Yesung, Ryeowook, Kibum, and Donghae take a trip to Crystal Lake, where love and horrors await them.
A somewhat-of-a-parody of the movie Friday the 13th 2009 version.
A/N: This fic is for thundersquall . Oh my God, Sheena, I wish I could write YeWook like you. I feel like I failed you when I wrote this. Anyway this fic is for you because you put me in the world of YeWook. YOU HAVE OPENED MY EYES TO THEIR WONDERFUL MARRIED RELATIONSHIP. You always shower me with pictures of them. Plus, you have given me a lot of things to think about. But I won't put them there, for the sake our MSN conversations. You're amazing, bb. I'm sorry if I didn't write the YeWook as well as you wanted me too. And I suck at kissing scenes. D; This fic was also rushed, like super rushed. Because I felt so guilty! Also, I need to work on other fics. I'll write more YeWook (try my hand at more romantic ones) in the future but I will never write them as good as you do. ILY <333
Word Count: 5600+


It was that time of the year again.

The summer heat and breezes that had rushed by were now coming to an end. The air started to feel empty again and Yesung knew that he would miss this summer. Even if he hadn't done anything worthwhile in it. Nonetheless, it was still a summer that had been enjoyed. But according to something that Donghae had said to Kibum, it wasn't.

“Donghae's making me go camping with him this weekend,” Kibum told Yesung one day. It was another normal day, same as all the other ones, where the both of them would hang out with each other. Even though he wouldn't admit it, Kibum had taken an unbelievable liking to Ttangkkoma over the summer. He even came down to Yesung's room in the dark of the night, just coming by there to say hi or pet Ttangkkoma. Yesung didn't mind because Ttangkkoma needed more love in the first place.

Kibum stopped petting the turtle's head and put the domestic animal back in its owner's hands. It was easy to pass the turtle off to another person because he and Yesung were sitting close to each other on the floor of his bedroom. Their backs were rubbing up against Ryeowook's bed, where the other person was sleeping on. Just so he could rest peacefully, Kibum and Yesung lowered their voices whenever they talked. It wasn't that hard to do because Kibum paid more attention to Ttangkkoma than Yesung. A few seconds every now and then, Yesung would turn his head to the back and gaze at Ryeowook's sleeping face.

It really was the perfect image to see behind him. The way Ryeowook's bangs fell in front of his eyes, the way they grazed his eyelids gently enough to make him wriggle his nose a little. He was still so cute, even when he was trapped in a dream. If Yesung could look at this all summer, then why couldn't Kibum and Donghae do the same? That was HIS question after Kibum had knocked Yesung out of his Ryeowook-watching time.

“Hey! Did you hear me?” Kibum said loudly. He never raised his voice, not even a little. He also never used his buff arms, a result from working out every now and then, to punch Yesung in the head. The older man winced at the pain and tried to make it disappear by rubbing it away with his hands. It wasn't working very well. Then again, his hands were small.

“Do you know how much it hurts when you hit me that hard?” Yesung growled.

“Do you know how soft your head must be if a light punch like that could bruise it?” Kibum crossed his arms. This made his muscles bulge. “But that can't be possible, because your head is too hard to listen to what I'm trying to say to you.”

“Okay then,” Yesung put his hand back down in his lap. He started stroking his ignored turtle's shell, trying not to think about how much his head was stinging. It was stinging a lot. “What ARE you trying to say to me?”

“Donghae's making me go camping with him. In some forest where nobody can find us. Some woody area,” Kibum said in a nonchalant voice. Yesung snickered at hearing the word “woody”. But Kibum ignored his childish behavior and started to talk again immediately.

“He says we've been wasting our summer,” Kibum slanted his head to the side. “So he wants to make up for it. No, he wants US to make up for it. Together.”

“So? It's not such a bad idea. In fact, there's nothing wrong with it all,” Yesung tried to find a flaw in Donghae's idea. Nope, he couldn't find anything at all.

“It's going to be hot. There's going to be bugs. There's going to be no beds. You're just not seeing the big picture,” Kibum stopped complaining and sat back against the bed again. After looking straight ahead at the wall for about a minute, he cocked his head towards Yesung.

“Maybe you and Ryeowook could come along. Turn this camping trip into a joint couple thing,” Kibum said. This stopped Yesung's activities and he stared at Kibum with a shocked look on his face. Okay, he wasn't expecting THAT to happen.

“I'm not so sure about that, I'll have to check with Ryeowook-” Yesung tried to stall himself from agreeing to or rejecting Kibum's generous offer, but then he was interrupted by someone's sleepy, angelic voice.

“We'll do it.”

Yesung and Kibum looked behind themselves to see that Ryeowook had woken up and he was rubbing the tiredness from his eyes away. After he finished doing that, he put his arms around Yesung to pull him closer. Yesung knew that there was no way to get out of this. He was trapped.

“Really?” Kibum had never looked so happy before. Not by somebody who wasn't Donghae, at least.

Because Ryeowook was so nice, he would never let anybody down. Especially Kibum, out of all people. So it didn't come as a surprise when he nodded his head and said, “Of course. It sounds like fun.”

“But Ryeowook,” Yesung patted his boyfriend's arms nervously. Now he fully understood why Kibum was so freaked out about this. “You do understand that it's going to be hot, there's going to be bugs, and there's going to be no beds, right?”

“Yeah, but there's going to be you,” Ryeowook pushed his head closer to Yesung's, snuggling it against him. “It'll be romantic.”

When Ryeowook said the word “romantic”, Yesung knew there was no escape. He was trapped in Kibum's plan, who was trapped in Donghae's plan, and the most important thing of all, he was trapped in Ryeowook's ideas of love and the affectionate headlock that he had Yesung in.

The end of summer vacation was just getting better and better.


“The both of you showed up! Yay!” Donghae cheered. He jumped up and down on the driveway happily. Ryeowook flashed Donghae a brilliant smile while Yesung tried to make his lunch stay down in his stomach. He could already feel the ache of not being near any electronics, any beds, and any air conditioning for a whole week. The ache slowly disappeared when he watched Donghae pull Ryeowook into the jumping intervals and they both started to jump together.

Well, Yesung forced himself to smile when Ryeowook waved at him. It won't be that bad. I'll be with Ryeowook. Nothing can possibly go wrong because he's there and I'm there-

“You invite those two, but you don't invite me?” Kyuhyun came out of the house, throwing Ryeowook's suitcase at Kibum's face. The other magnae barely caught it. Otherwise he would have dropped it, if not for his manly set of arms.

Two more people came out of the house. It was Hankyung and Eunhyuk. Yesung looked closer and saw that Hankyung was holding a relaxing Ttangkkoma in his hands. Yesung shot him a withering look.

“No matter what Heechul tells you to do,” Yesung warned. “Do not roast Ttangkkoma into a meal for him.”

With an angry look cast over Yesung's and a worried one over Kibum's, Hankyung nodded, agreeing to stick to his obligation as the protector of Ttangkkoma. Since that was resolved, there was still the issue with Kyuhyun's bitterness.

“You always do this to me,” Kyuhyun's viper tongue hissed. “You leave me out of everything. I'm starting to think that all of you secretly want me to become a dysfunctional magnae-”

“Kyuhyun,” Kibum put a hand over the magnae's shoulder and pulled him into him, roughly. “Think about it. Since Yesung and Ryeowook are leaving with us, you can take care of their room for them.”

“Like that's going to make it any better-”

“You can use their beds to make that back of yours feel better. Best mattresses in the world, I promise you.” This made Yesung stare at Kibum. How the hell would he know if his mattresses were the best in the world? He decided that he didn't want the answer to that.

There was a sweeping silence that came from everybody else and a pause for Kyuhyun to think about it. But his answer was giving the evil eye to everybody that was there with him.

“What are you talking about? I'm not Heechul or Eeteuk. My back is in amazing condition,” Kyuhyun said, not getting what Kibum really meant. That's when Eunhyuk grabbed his wrist.

“I don't think you know how amazing your back's going to feel once you try out those beds. Come on, I'll help you,” Eunhyuk grinned as he dragged a confused Kyuhyun back inside the house. Donghae stared for awhile and only snapped out of his daze when Kibum poked him in the arm.

“Are you okay?” he asked. Donghae nodded his head urgently.

“No, nothing is wrong with me, I just imagined, you know, Eunhyuk helping Kyuhyun out...” When Donghae explained his distraction, Kibum's eyebrow twitched.

“What?” Donghae tried to defend himself by spouting out sentences that didn't even sense. “Admit it. The idea of Kyuhyun on his back is sexy and addicting and I can think about it if I wanted to, whenever I wanted to-Whoa, Hankyung! What are you doing?”

Hankyung had accidentally knocked into Donghae when he was trying to go back into the house. He looked like he was in a rush.

“Where are you going?” Kibum yelled after him.

“I'm off to find Heechul!” Hankyung yelled back, looking even more rushed by the second.


“So we can get to those beds before anybody else does!” Hankyung said, thinking of what would happen to the beds once Kangin and Eeteuk heard about them. Eeteuk would definitely want to cure his back. Where was Heechul when he needed them?

“Well you can't really blame them. Your room's isolated from all the other ones. It's the best room if you want to get any privacy,” Donghae pointed out.

“But it's still my bed...” Yesung's words fell to the ground. Then he channeled the same, angry look that Kyuhyun had and aimed it at Kibum.

“YOU. You make me go with you and your boyfriend on trips for unnecessary purposes and then you have the nerve to pimp out my bed-” Yesung had already started going off on Kibum but he stopped when Ryeowook stood by his side. And he started to cuddle up against Yesung's arm. Something that made Yesung agree to almost everything and made him stay frozen to the spot he was in.

“I'm sure that they will be using my bed. So don't worry about it,” Ryeowook smiled at him. “I just want you to be worry-free and enjoy this vacation like you should be doing right now. With me.”

There was a blank look that replace the anguish on Yesung's face and Ryeowook misunderstood it.

“You think I'm being selfish, right? I'm sorry, I just want you to enjoy this vacation with me and if you think that I'm bringing you down-” Ryeowook was cut off when Yesung smiled at him and put a finger to his lips. This made him quiet and brought the smile back on his face.

“Shut up,” Yesung told Ryeowook for the first time in his life. But he didn't say it in a harsh tone. If anything, it was in a loving one that was meant to comfort the both of them. For Ryeowook, it was to convince him that he wasn't being selfish. Unlike all those other jerks who were taking advantage of their room.

And for Yesung, it was meant to comfort him about the many horrors that were going to come upon the vacation.

Kibum shut the back door of the mini-van. He slapped his hands together and beckoned the other three to get into the car.

“That's it. We're ready to go,” Kibum said. This made Donghae run over to the side of the car while cheering, “Yes! Our last trip before summer vacation ends! Hurry up, guys!”

Yesung tried not to sigh when Ryeowook grabbed a hold of his hand and pulled him over to the mini-van. He tried not to kill himself when he was pushed into the backseat. Instead, he just glared at Kibum through the rear view mirror, which he ignored in return, and forced himself to smile when Ryeowook squeezed his hand.

He prayed to God that nothing would go wrong on this vacation.


After hours of driving on scarce roads, they had finally arrived at their planned destination.

“Yesung,” Ryeowook nudged Yesung's face with his shoulder so he could wake up. His method had worked because the older man woke up as soon as his face fell off of Ryeowook's shoulder. He fixed his messy, black hair as if he hadn't been sleeping this whole entire time. But it was hard not to stay awake when the only person who was talking in the car was Donghae. And he kept on discussing the same topics with Kibum over and over again: the mechanisms of Kyuhyun's back, his latest trips to Petco just so he could stare into fish tanks, his latest dance moves, and etcetera, etcetera. The man could talk about nothing for a long time.

“We're here,” Kibum said gruffly, trying to unfasten his seatbelt. He was obviously having a hard time with it, but Yesung didn't want to help him. His friend deserved it.

“It's pretty,” Ryeowook stared outside the tinted windows, trying to get used to their new settings. Yesung took a peek but didn't like what he saw. The area was nothing but green that stretched for miles. It was blinding.

“It is, isn't it?” Yesung said in an absentminded way and tried to search for something else that was worth looking at. The only thing that his eyes could find was the scene going on in front of him, where Donghae was trying to help Kibum get out of his seatbelt, but the driver didn't want to give up his pride. He tried to shove Donghae's hands off of his seatbelt.

“Kibum, let me help you!” Donghae whined.

“NO. I can do it myself.” Kibum threatened, but that still didn't make Donghae back off. The seatbelt's clasp finally clicked open at that moment. After that was done, he got out of the car quickly, which made everybody else follow suit.

Yesung regretted coming out of the car. The back of his shirt was already sticking to him. It was grotesque, just like the scenery. Maybe he should have trained himself for the wilderness as a child.

He looked at Ryeowook, who was in awe of everything. How the hell could he stand the humidity? The stickiness that made up the air? Yesung did not know the answer to his own question.

“This is the right place, isn't it?” Kibum peered around the area. “Donghae, go look for a sign that says 'Crystal Lake'.”

“Oh, it's right here!” Donghae pointed at a bush and started beating the leaves off of it. After the leaves had fallen down into a heap, a sign was revealed underneath it. Everybody stared at him in surprise. How did he find a sign, a well hidden one, so fast? Donghae was one of those people in the world that you couldn't understand, no matter how hard you tried.

Yesung was the first one to look at the sign. It appeared to be a wooden slab with red paint marking it. From far away, it could be mistaken for blood. He looked closer. The red paint formed the words: Crystal Lake. What a creepy way to show off the territory.

“Is that sign scaring you? Because it's scaring me,” Ryeowook stood right behind Yesung, asking nobody in particular.

“What? No, it's just a sign! How can you get scared by that?” Donghae laughed and then all of a sudden, he screamed. He ran into Kibum's arms.

“Oh my God, fire ants! They're all over the sign!” he yelled while Kibum tried to calm him down.

Yesung gulped. The sign had now been ravaged by an army of ants. Weren't there any other tourist attractions? Better ones?


It took them awhile to set up camp with Donghae's useless, overexcited self. Ryeowook wasn't making things better, either. He would stand still at random moments and be amazed by how nature worked. Since Yesung loved him, he overlooked it and kept on carrying Ryeowook's heavy suitcase. It must have been stuffed with millions of unimportant things, because it was weighing himself down.

“What do you have in here, Ryeowook? It's heavy,” Yesung asked and when he shifted his weight to the other foot, there was a metal 'clang' that reverberated inside the suitcase. Okay, that would have been suspicious if Ryeowook hadn't explained it right after he asked.

“I brought pots and pans. To cook for you,” Ryeowook said. He ran up until he was right behind Yesung and tried to help carry the extra weight. “Just a few more steps until we get there. I'll unpack my things and your things when we do, okay?”

“Yes,” Yesung felt a sweat drop fall from his forehead.

“If it makes you feel better, I only brought those pots and pans to cook for you! ONLY for you,” Ryeowook empathized.

This made Yesung feel better about himself and more special than the others. So he hummed in content until they reached the tents, where Kibum and Donghae were hanging around.

“It's about to be dark,” Kibum put a hand over his eyes so he could look directly into the sunset.

“We came late, but oh well. It doesn't matter,” Donghae grinned. “Just finish unpacking your stuff and we'll get ready for a bonfire!”

“I don't really trust you with fire,” Kibum said for him and everybody else, because they all couldn't trust Donghae. Another feat that a normal person couldn't do. But Donghae had already left to cause more trouble for the rest of them.

Yesung looked at Ryeowook with tired eyes. It was still the first day of camping, about to be the first night, and he was already tired. If he kept on going at this rate, he was going to die at a very young age.

But he was saved by the happiness that was captured in Ryeowook's eyes. His only reason for sticking to this vacation. Even if it meant being bitten by mosquitoes, sleeping in an uncomfortable bag, and staying with another couple.

“I guess we should start unpacking our stuff right away,” Yesung said calmly. But before Ryeowook could give him an answer, which was sure to be a yes, Donghae came in between them. His sudden shoo-in separated the both of the them. This made Yesung very unhappy.

“W-what is it?” Yesung asked the man who had fallen between him and his Ryeowook. He really wanted to say, Why the hell did you just do that? But he decided to keep it to himself.

“I need to know what today is,” Donghae's eyes glittered, meaning that this question had to be important. It probably wasn't, since Donghae's standards differentiated from Yesung's. But the older man answered him anyway.

“It's Friday.”

“No, not the weekday. I want the number,” Donghae urged. Yesung tried to think of it from the top of his head.

“The 13th. Why are you asking me this-” Yesung was wondering what Donghae was trying to get at and why he had to disrupt him and Ryeowook for it, but the block between him and his boyfriend suddenly gasped.

“Friday? The 13th?” Donghae's mouth formed a large “o”. “Holy crap, we're in danger!”

“No we're not,” Kibum came along with his hands on his hips. “Donghae, don't make up any stories. You're going to to scare Ryeowook and Yesung away from our vacation.”

“Why? I want to know,” Ryeowook said, getting curious.

“I'm not scared,” Yesung was appalled that Kibum would even think of him that way. He was not a wimp. If anything, he was the opposite.

“There's a myth about this place,” Donghae smiled as he told the story. “You know, Crystal Lake wasn't so peaceful in the beginning.”

“Donghae...” Kibum warned, but he was ignored.

“Ever heard of Jason?” he asked the other two eagerly. They both shook their heads. Yesung had never heard of a “Jason” before. He wondered what this person had to do with Donghae's story.

“To summarize it, he's this really ugly man who lurks this forest. You can't see him because he hides his ugliness behind a hockey mask,” Donghae grinned even wider.

“He's just this made up character who witnessed his mother being killed by a camp counselor at a young age. Not a big deal,” Kibum noted with a serious look on his face. He didn't know it but he was making the story sound even worse.

Ryeowook slammed into Yesung and hung to him. He was already getting scared. Yesung stood there in shock. He couldn't believe that Kibum and Donghae had brought them to a place where a homicide might have taken place.

“Anyway,” Donghae continued. “After he saw his mother being beheaded, he started haunting Crystal Lake. There's been a lot of rumors ever since.”

“What kind of rumors?” Ryeowook asked.

“The usual. That on this day, there's campers disappearing, camp sites burned to the ground, blood staining Crystal Lake. Like I said, the usual.”

“Why are we here, then?! We need to go before he murders us!” Yesung said, overreacting. Kibum and Donghae burst out into laughter.

“Yesung, it's obvious that this is all false. It's just another scary story. The kind you're supposed to enjoy on camping trips. Don't look into the details too hard,” Kibum advised. He turned to Donghae. “And you. You need to shut your mouth.”

“Well, maybe I need you to help me,” Donghae replied. His voice was tinged with the slightest bit of seductiveness. Yesung's eyes got tinier. He hated sexual innuendo. Especially if it was his two friends doing it to each other.

Kibum pulled Donghae into a hug and looked at Yesung. He was smiling. Yesung knew that smile very well. It was the one that Kibum always used whenever he wanted something. The kind that also guaranteed that he would get whatever he wanted in the end.

“Can you go get firewood for us? You should go before it gets dark,” Kibum said.

“You just want to have sex behind our backs, don't you?” Yesung always knew what the younger people were up to. Especially when he had been trainees with them for so long.

Kibum turned to Ryeowook instead.

“Ryeowook, can you get firewood instead? Since Yesung doesn't want to do it himself?”

“O-of course,” Ryeowook complied in a shaky voice.

“What?” Yesung put his attention on the man that was behind him. He was still thinking of Jason. “There's no way that you're going to go by yourself! That's dangerous!”

“Then you should assist,” Kibum butted in. “Right, Ryeowook?”

“You don't have to come...” Ryeowook said.

“But I want to. Let's go,” Yesung grabbed his hand and walked away, dragging Ryeowook along with him. He didn't even care about how much force he was using, as long as they got away from the other two. He looked over his shoulder to shoot them a dirty look. But Kibum was too busy shoving Donghae into the tent to notice. Even though it was a disgusting sight to see, Ryeowook's voice made it invisible to him.

“That's the first time I heard you say that,” Ryeowook said all of sudden. He seemed surprised. “Ever since we left the house.”

“What did I say for the first time?” Yesung asked. He didn't care about the other two anymore. Ryeowook was the only person who was with him.

“You said 'I want to',” Ryeowook's voice was on the verge of breaking. “I thought you hated this vacation. I thought you didn't want to do anything. At all.”

“Well,” Yesung looked straight ahead. He was trying to think of the right way to say it. “You're right about the second part, for sure.”

There was silence afterward, so Yesung decided to take this chance to fill it up.

“But I can't hate the times where I'm with you. You know I'll do anything for you,. Even if I hate it," Yesung said. It seemed to him like uttering that one sentence wasn't enough, but by the way Ryeowook held onto his hand tightly, it was. Yesung gave a sigh of relief. At least this vacation wasn't all the way to destruction. Yet.

Ryeowook walked a little faster so he could stand beside Yesung. When their sides were aligned, Yesung walked a little bit slower. Just so they could enjoy the little time they had by themselves. Or maybe it would be longer. It depended on the length of time that Kibum and Donghae needed for their activities.

“I'm glad you came with me,” Ryeowook said after another minute of silence. “I'm kind of scared to be here now, ever since we heard Donghae's story.”

Yesung pursed his lips. “Don't tell Kibum and Donghae this. But I got really scared, too.”

He expected for Ryeowook to start laughing at him but the other person just looked at him. There was love in his eyes. Yesung couldn't believe that it was still there when he had just outed himself as a total wimp.
“Oh my God,” Ryeowook put a hand over his heart. “I'm so glad to hear that.”

“Really?” Yesung felt just as relieved as Ryeowook. “You don't think of me any differently? Like a dog who has his tail between his legs?”

“No, of course not,” Ryeowook dropped his head on Yesung's shoulder and started to laugh a little. A delightful one. “I hate it whenever I'm the only one who gets scared by those type of things. Even when I know that they're made up.”

“Wouldn't you want someone to be brave enough to protect you?” Yesung asked.

“It's just a fake story. I just want someone to feel the same way I do!” Ryeowook cried out. Yesung couldn't take it anymore. He loved this man more than anything in the world. He turned around and gripped Ryeowook's small arms with his hands. Then he pulled him into a hug. Ryeowook stood there, not knowing that this would happen at all.

“Yesung, we're supposed to be getting the firewood,” Ryeowook reminded him. Yesung pulled away, but his hands were still on the other person's arms.

“Screw getting the firewood. It was just an excuse for Kibum and Donghae to have privacy for whatever the hell they're doing,” Yesung said. His emotions were spurting everywhere. “Ryeowook, oh God, you don't know how much I love you right now. You accept me. I can't believe you accept me. You STILL accept me. Do you know how amazing you are? Really, I can't describe you enough in words-”

“Yesung,” Ryeowook fell into Yesung's body. His hands rooted to the fabric of the other person's shirt. “Shut up. Just please, shut up and...”

Without any other words to say, both of their faces moved in on each other. Yesung tilted his head to the side so that Ryeowook could fit into his. But before their lips could take a hold of each other, a piercing shriek was heard from far away. The both of them tore away from contact.

“What was that?” Yesung asked nervously.

“I think it's Donghae,” Ryeowook answered. Sure enough, it was.


After hearing Donghae's cry for help, Yesung and Ryeowook looked at each other. The romantic aura around them had disappeared into thin air. It had now been replaced with fear. Without saying anything else, they ran back to the camp site.

“Oh my God, please don't let them be dead-” Yesung chanted on their way back. But when he and Ryeowook got there, there was a devastating sight that appeared in front of them.

A sleeping bag was hanging over a roaring fire. It had been tied up efficiently and there were sharp angles poking out of it. Even though Yesung couldn't really think, he knew that Kibum and Donghae were in it. They had burned to death by the hands of their murderer.

Even though they were both in fear for their lives, they heard something inch closer to them. A large, moving figure. Yesung and Ryeowook turned around. They were face to face with a giant. They knew who it was just by seeing the hockey mask and the chainsaw. It was Jason.

“Run,” Yesung shoved Ryeowook into a direction so he could escape, but he didn't budge. “RUN!”

“But you'll die!” Ryeowook looked up at the looming figure. Jason turned on his chainsaw.

“If you run, at least one of us will get of here alive!” Yesung could feel his heart thumping. He shut his eyes tightly, waiting to be sliced in half.

But what he didn't expect for the chainsaw to turn off. And the laughter that followed after.

“Surprise!” Jason took off his mask and Donghae's face was revealed underneath. He grinned happily as he threw the inactive chainsaw to the side. Then he started to disrobe himself. The cloak fell off and Kibum was also revealed. He was the one carrying Donghae on top of his shoulders. So that explained the intimidating height.

Donghae slid his legs off of Kibum's shoulders and back until his feet were safely on the the ground again. Kibum started to rub the area on his shoulders where Donghae's legs had once been sitting on.

“Do you know heavy you and the chainsaw are? Put together?” Kibum groaned. Donghae couldn't hear him, he was too busy laughing.

“Oh God, I can't stop laughing! Your faces-the looks on your faces, they're priceless!” Donghae keeled over. He looked at Yesung and Ryeowook again, trying to form a complete sentence. But at this point, it was impossible. “

“What. Is. Wrong. With. You?” Yesung said through gritted teeth. But it was hard to keep his teeth together when they were clattering this badly. Questions started shooting out his mouth. “Where did you get a chainsaw?! What is the meaning of this?! Why aren't you guys in the burning sleeping bag?!”

“Oh, that was just a decoy. There's only a bunch of rocks in that sleeping bag. So it would seem more realistic,” Kibum smiled again, a different one this time. The mischievous one that he didn't use often. “I have to admit, seeing your guys' faces was funny.”

“Where did you get the chainsaw?” Ryeowook asked quietly.

“We packed it into your suitcase when you guys weren't looking,” Donghae looked down at the abandoned chainsaw. His smirk could be reflected off the metal.

Isn't this joke a bit too...extreme? Yesung thought as his heartbeats returned to a slower rate. But when Ryeowook threw his arms around him, his heart stopped. The blood stopped pumping.

“Thank God! It was only a joke, Yesung!” Ryeowook wiped away the tears that had fallen from his eyes. He looked up to see the blank look that overpowered the other victim's face. “Yesung?”

That's when he fainted to the ground. The last thing he saw was dirt in his face and the other three scrambling over to help him.

The vacation had ended before it even started. At least it meant that Yesung could go back home and be with Ttangkkoma again. That was the last thought he had before he entered a temporary coma.


They were already on their way back home. Kibum and Donghae were sitting in the front  of the car while Ryeowook sat in the backseat, tending to the one who was unconscious. They were driving back home when Ryeowook had spoke up.

“You know,” Ryeowook stroked the hair on Yesung's head. He was laying his head on top of Ryeowook's lap. “You guys didn't do what I told you to do.”

“Yeah, we did,” Donghae turned around in the passenger seat, looking Ryeowook in the eye. “You told us to scare him.”

“Yeah. I said scare him into submission, not into paralysis,” Ryeowook pointed out.

Donghae turned around in exasperation, muttering something along the lines of, “ungrateful, eternal magnae”. Everything got quiet again.

“I'm surprised that he even agreed to go with us in the first place,” Kibum said. Ryeowook smiled and patted Yesung's head. He would never know that Ryeowook had been in on the joke the whole entire time. And that everything had secretly been a test.

“That's how far he'll go for me,” Ryeowook said, pleased with himself and the results. He leaned down to kiss Yesung on the forehead, even though he couldn't feel it.

“You're a great actor, Ryeowook,” Kibum complimented. He focused on driving again.

And everybody besides Yesung got what they wanted.

Ivy-Soheeevilish33 on September 7th, 2009 04:28 pm (UTC)
That was...that was just cruel and unusual O_O
Poor Yesung, I mean really haha. That's like the cruelest, weirdest test ever! Honestly, when he wakes up he should beat Donghae and Kibum's asses! I think I would cry if anyone ever did that to me lol. And it was his boyfriend's idea on top of it xD Haha, anyways good job. It was really scary at first, even though the ending was hilarious
Stephanie Barbie Lee: your smile is all I needahmilli on September 7th, 2009 05:03 pm (UTC)
I know the story was cruel and unusual, but it was the only thing I could think of.

I just remembered that I forgot to add in one more part in the fic, but I was rushing. -________-;; Glad you didn't think it was horrible.
i enjoy wookgasms!thundersquall on September 9th, 2009 12:05 am (UTC)
You already got my epic flailing over MSN but I'm going to do it again. =p

Firstly, FLKSADHFKL;ASHDFLHASLJKDFH!! *keysmash* You wrote me YeWook, and KiHae! Okay maybe the KiHae was more for you but at least both of us have our biases in this. =p

And and and the many cameos of the arms of sex. They are perfect. THE ARMS OF SEX DESERVE MANY MANY SCENES!

Also, all the cute little things you put in about YeWook being married and Yesung being whipped. aksdfgaksg TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS, why are they so CUTE?

I LOL-ed at the whole last part. Poor Yesung, omg. And devious!Wook FTW! I love devious!Wook. <33333

Thank you sweets! ♥
Stephanie Barbie Lee: jungminahmilli on September 9th, 2009 01:38 am (UTC)
I'm too tired to type right now. But I'll force myself anyway.

I'm EXTREMELY happy that you liked it because I was really worried and I hated everything I wrote! I'm sorry but I always think like that whenever I write really, really long oneshots.

Oh and of course, there has to be KiHae. I can't get away from describing the arms of sex. OHGAWD. P:

I love writing whipped!Yesung. Even though I love his sadistic, sexy persona, I can't write as anything that isn't whipped. Oh and of course I had to throw in snarky!Wook. There's not enough of him. D:

I should be saying thank you to you. I am just amazed that you even like it.
(Deleted comment)
Stephanie Barbie Leeahmilli on September 9th, 2009 08:50 am (UTC)
LOL. You and your mind. :P

It was supposed to be a test of love. The way I tried to incorporate it into the fic made me hate it. D:

trying to fix what's damagedread0write on September 9th, 2009 05:55 am (UTC)
i laughed at the end (idk if that's good or bad)
i love yewook. they are love ♥ :)
i feel bad for yesung but what ryeowook did was priceless :)
Stephanie Barbie Leeahmilli on September 9th, 2009 08:51 am (UTC)
The end was supposed to make you laugh, so that's VERY GOOD. *wipes away sweatdrop*

They need more fics about them. ):
Yes. Snark!Ryeowook needs to pop up in fics more, too.
Look at me, I want so many things from this pairing. :P
juissijaffa: Yoobinkatsimoto on September 9th, 2009 06:32 pm (UTC)
I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO READ IT. but I finally did it, so yayy!

I really really really really liked the part where Yesung was "GO RUN SAVE YOURSELF" and Wookie didn't want to go and oh, it was so perfect : D

Really nicely written, and Kibum was actually like a human here, because too often he's a person of not too many words in fics.

Very lovely~
Stephanie Barbie Leeahmilli on September 9th, 2009 08:28 pm (UTC)
I can't believe you didn't get bored along the way! 8D

Oh my God, I thought that part was awkward. I was sitting there thinking, what should he say???

I make sure Kibum talks a lot when I write him. BIAS LOVE.

Thank you for taking the time to read this long long fic. x_______x
g_myzo on September 9th, 2009 08:50 pm (UTC)
rofl! awww, that was such a twist XD poor yesungie.. sneaky wookie..
Stephanie Barbie Leeahmilli on September 9th, 2009 08:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading. :)
(Deleted comment)
Stephanie Barbie Leeahmilli on September 10th, 2009 09:56 am (UTC)
Who is this vice president that you speak of? I would like to know this!

Thanks for reading and thinking it was funny. This fic was a nightmare for me.
make happiness a habit ♥yunsias on September 10th, 2009 06:31 pm (UTC)
OMG, why did I took so long to get to this one-shot?! IT'S AMAZING!
The fascination with the mattress is just ohsolovely. You should write a KyuHyuk side-story to it! Hahahaha...

Oh Wookie. I always knew you are not that angelic.
Yesung should learn that side of Wookie but still, his protectiveness over that evilternal magnae is so <333333333333333333.
Stephanie Barbie Leeahmilli on September 10th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)
I am not going to write KyuHyuk for a long time. I wrote too many about them, xD
This oneshot is so long. I was dying while I was typing it.

Don't you love that secret snark that Ryeowook has? :3
make happiness a habit ♥yunsias on September 11th, 2009 05:28 am (UTC)
You can never write too many of your OTP. :)

Certainly. He has learned well from HeeChul and Kangin.